This is Lenman

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Bug

This bug is the most exciting thing to happen to me all year.

How sad is that.

Pretty sad.

So i have decided to go on a Holiday for some excitement.

This year I have chosen, Georgina's Cat Heaven. Comes complete with Cat-Walks on the balcony, Balcony grime to rub myself in to get the stinky Pantene off my fur, a really heavy door to play 'nudge' with, and a massive wardrobe to disappear into its many vortex's.

Can't wait.

Whilst i'm gone i'm sending the idiots to Cairns. Hopefully they get eaten by a stingray or something.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I had a Donnie Darko experience this morning. I temporarily disappeared into a vortex.

Whilst you might not think that the average apartment would have its own vortex, or Abyss of the Unknown.. you would be wrong.

Whilst it has been suggested that a vortex exists behind the TV or under the fridge, in which my mousies are consistently disappearing into. Today was a first in that an actual being, disappeared into the unknown.

I was missing for roughly 10 mins. It was clear i wasn't pulling a prank by hiding in any of my usual spots to fool the retards. They searched and high and low.. to no avail.

So where was I??

A new theory is that a vortex exists under the couch, which clearly sucked me into another dimension. As when i appeared as if from Nowhere.. my fur was all messy and i looked really ruffed up.

If only i had some answers, answers from beyond.

Stupid wormholes.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Cat Me If You Can

my new favourite song. evah

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Wardrobe Awareness Week

This week I am raising Wardrobe Awareness. I dont think people understand just how cool wardrobes are, and I am here to rectify that problem.

Wardrobes are really great, for one, you can sleep on top of them and feel superior.

It's like being a king and looking down on the lowly peasants, plus its good to be incognito when people are looking for you.."good luck finding me up here morons"

So for Wardrobe Awareness Week everyone should go out and buy a wardrobe, apparently you can keep things in them too ?? ..

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

NYE Resolutions

1. Find an alternate route onto the pillows on the bed, without having to stick my bum in someones head, or put my claws in their lips/neck, as apparently people don't like that and I get banned for the night.

2. Make love to rug whilst everyone is back at work. They were so cramping my style hanging around the house all day in their Holidays.

3. Instill "the year of eating at the table" eating off the ground is sooo last year.

4. Stop crapping on the tiles

5. Find the 1000 mousies that have mysteriously disappeared into a black hole, under the fridge? behind the TV? i dont know where they are, its an X-File.

6. Stop Singing "there aint no cats on the radio" by the Scissor Sisters, as apparently they aren't the real words, and its getting on peoples nerves.

7. Pee in the New Plant that is getting all the attention in the Kitchen.

8. Ruin the New Bedspread

9. Get rid of this hairball once and for all. preferrably at 3am so someone has to get up and give me attention.

10. Get Laid