Ode to Dental Floss

Whats the big deal?

I like it. It smells good. Its like food on a string. Why does everyone freak the fuck out when I happen to eat a few meters of this shit?

Honestly. Yes I was choking. Ever considered that maybe choking to death on some dental floss is maybe the better option, if the comparison is being in the "sunroom" every goddam day. You know what?! The Sunroom. not so sunny at nighttime bitches!!

anyway, where was I?

Oh yes. Dental Floss.

I love it.

Why is there not a dental floss flavour in those shitty cans they insist on feeding me all day everyday?

Why is it that when I do eat the floss, they go batshit and pull it out of my esophogus rendering me speechless and causing me to yack up about my bodies weight in saliva.

Sometimes its better in than out.

So now I am banned from Dental Floss.

Fuck you!

Do you think your stupid bin with the lid will stop me?

Do you think I dont want to get into the flushy water bowl thingy? I love that thing. Leave the seat UP assholes.

Ergh..

I'll kill you all.