I haven't crapped for 3 days!
The idiots think i'm off crapping somewhere else and follow me around all day long looking at my asshole... do you really think i'd be crapping somewhere as obvious as under the bed if I was going to all the trouble to crap elsewhere?
Let me tell you though - it will be something like that scene from Trainspotting when I do go.
yeahh - suck on that imagery
Me in happier days of a worry-free crap