Lenman Band

I'm recording my first album - titled 'Apartment Life'

I will be playing all the instruments.

Piano.


Drums


Guitar


Bass

Rock On.

I vant to suck your bloooooood

I dont know what is scarier?? the fact my life is in the hands of the two biggest morons on earth, or the fact that i actually like them.

Is it MY fault that The Morons watched Underworld Evolution?
Is it MY fault that they went to bed all scared of vampires?
Is it MY fault that I had a hairball at 3am?

Hey, I consider underneath the bed right near their heads a prime spot to cough up a hairball. *Haaaaaack Ha-aaaaaaaaack*, how was I supposed to know they'd freak out and think there was a vampire under the bed??

From now on those two are limited to only watching DISNEY!
They'll probably think a werewolf is breaking in next time I do a large poo at four-o-clock in the morning. SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRRRRRATCH

Whitey... The White

I was made for hating you Whitey, You were made for hating Me.
I can't get enough of you Whitey, Can you get enough of Me.

On the weekend, The Morons came home drunk and tried to socialise me with the skanky cat who lives on the stairs.

Why??

It was a bad idea..... First of all. I only like Humans. And second of all, if I was going to be friends with another cat, it wouldnt be one who spends all their time licking thier crack on the staircase all day.

I have standards.

FROM THE MIND OF WHITEY: whatta you problem eh? I licka you gotta problem? I like-a-you, all the time you meowing I come up the stairs and you treat-a-me like a poopies you get stuck on your fur. I don' need no stinkin peeety friendship, I waita to be a friends witha you, and you letta me know when you wanna make-a-nice.