The Crew
From what I can tell - there are 2 other cats who live in my building, they ofcourse get the pleasure of being "outside"... I have only been "outside" 2 times, and both were highly traumatising and resulted in me pooping myself and being forced to have a bath...(will go into detail some other time)
For now, I will tell you about the two cats who taunt me everyday with thier "outsideness".
1. WHITEY - from what I can tell, Whitey definitely had Cat-AIDS. He is so skanky its just not funny, He should probably get picked up by the RSPCA or something, because he sleeps on the stairs or in the garbage. I sooo don't want him coming anywhere near me and my lovesac. Whitey is gross. But I sorta feel sorry for him because he is all the time locked outside especially when its cold, and there is no way the parents would let someone who is all scabby and gross sleep in their bed, like I do.
2. ZACH - I met Zach once, and I knew straight away that he was a rapist.. I reckon he probably raped Whitey and gave him AIDS. Zach doenst even live in our building yet he struts around like he owns the place. He sux so much. He eats Whiteys food and bullies him into sleeping near the Recyling Bins so he can have the prime position on the stairs.. I hate him so much.
So I am sorta glad that I am locked up Rapunzel style in the apartment, I really don't want to have to deal with those guys on a daily basis. At least my foodbowl is clean and I dont have to share it with anyone. Sharing is Gay.
Oh and there are some birds outside as well.. But I def hate them. All birds should die. Now.
For now, I will tell you about the two cats who taunt me everyday with thier "outsideness".
1. WHITEY - from what I can tell, Whitey definitely had Cat-AIDS. He is so skanky its just not funny, He should probably get picked up by the RSPCA or something, because he sleeps on the stairs or in the garbage. I sooo don't want him coming anywhere near me and my lovesac. Whitey is gross. But I sorta feel sorry for him because he is all the time locked outside especially when its cold, and there is no way the parents would let someone who is all scabby and gross sleep in their bed, like I do.
2. ZACH - I met Zach once, and I knew straight away that he was a rapist.. I reckon he probably raped Whitey and gave him AIDS. Zach doenst even live in our building yet he struts around like he owns the place. He sux so much. He eats Whiteys food and bullies him into sleeping near the Recyling Bins so he can have the prime position on the stairs.. I hate him so much.
So I am sorta glad that I am locked up Rapunzel style in the apartment, I really don't want to have to deal with those guys on a daily basis. At least my foodbowl is clean and I dont have to share it with anyone. Sharing is Gay.
Oh and there are some birds outside as well.. But I def hate them. All birds should die. Now.
posted by Lenman at
4:17 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Lenny
You may gloat about your short life of luxury.But I return from cat heaven(believe me it does exist, and cat god even provides us dead dudes with I'net access)to tell you that your mom had me for about twenty years. I also had the cool life of apartments, lazing about all day and generally cruising thru life. I did have to move several times though and I can tell you it pissed me off no end. Every year or so, pack up the bed,toy's etc and move to some flat somewhere. Being a cat I knew little of the outside world. Your ma was good to me also, allowed to sleep on bed, lounge etc. in fact anywhere I wanted.
I remember your Ma's childhood and vivid memories of her dress sense. Does she still wear those bloody stinky Converse things on her feet. They stunk far worse than my litter tray, even after a night on the spagetti bol.
I ended up in a retirement home in the Hunter valley living with some relation who had a wife and kids. Their little boy, Eddy. Ithink it was, took a particular shine to me and even made his own cat stay outside while I lived with 'em. I really took a dislike to their cat Tom. A big ugly grey fucker who had absolutly no respect for his elders (me).
But all in all,I did enjoy my retirement and often look thru the clouds at my gravesite in that families backyard.
It does shit me off though that the old man of the house dissed me by burying me next to the fuckin' alley cats that died in the vicinity and were planted under trees. Ah well...cat god said it is bluey's (bed mate in heaven)time on the computor, and god don't take shit.
Cheers..have a good life and say hello to mom for me..XXXX Nancy
<$I18NByCommentAhrefuthor$>, At 4:53 PM
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